Don’t Smell The Flowers! They Want To Steal Your Bones!

Yes, the next book I’m putting out will be, DON’T SMELL THE FLOWERS! THEY WANT TO STEAL YOUR BONES! To be honest, I have three books in various stages of completeness, and this one is the closest to completion, as the cover has been turned around super-quick by Matthew Revert (who did the MR SUCKY cover). Speaking of the cover, here it is:

So what it’s about? Here’s the synopsis:

The sleepy village of Charlton is under assault. Not from crazies, zombies or radioactively enhanced mutants, but from locally grown flowers. These devilish orchids lure people in with their favourite smell, before rendering them unconscious, just so they can pilfer a piece of the victim’s skeleton.

As doctors and paramedics are pushed to breaking point, it’s down to scantily clad detective, Harry Surge, to root out who’s behind this unconventional attack. To nip this in the bud, Harry is going to have to call in old favours, investigate the history of the village, leave no leaf unturned, and commandeer as many different vehicles as he can get away with. Even ones he doesn’t know how to spell.

Brace yourself for a peculiar hike through rural England, bring a packed lunch if you get peckish, but whatever you do, DON’T SMELL THE FLOWERS! Cos, ya know, THEY WANT TO STEAL YOUR BONES!

Both versions of the book (Kindle and paperback) are up for pre-order now on Amazon. As an incentive, the Kindle pre-orders will be a mere 99p/cents until a week after launch, where they’ll go back up to the usual price of £1.99 and $2.99.

However…as per normal, the physical book will have more stuff in it. As it’s set in the very real village of Charlton (I lived there for a few years in my early teens), I’ll be writing a little bit on some of the real-life locations that I used, along with pictures so you can get a glimpse of where I grew up. In addition, I’ll also be including the unedited middle chapter where the story was going to take a very different path. I’m a strong believer in giving people who pick up the more expensive physical book a little something extra for their investment, so I hope it’s worth it for those of you who prefer it.

The book is out on Friday 1st May, and you can pre-order the Kindle HERE for the UK and HERE for the US.

Take it easy